My name is Br. Pierre Toussaint. I’m twenty-five years old and I’m originally from Long Island, New York. I come from a small family I have one sister who is eleven years older than me and both my mom and dad still live in New York.
As a kid growing up, I remember going to mass every Sunday and having this longing to be a part of what was going on at mass. Once I was old enough, I began to serve mass at my parish. Shortly after that, my mom, my sister, and myself went on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje, Assisi, and Rome. At this point, I was ten years old, and it was just a wonderful experience to be able to go to another country and experience another culture. The priest who led this pilgrimage was a Franciscan Friar of the Renewal and he was accompanied by another brother. During the trip, I was struck with a sense of awe because of these brothers. I thought to myself that it was really amazing that these guys could be so happy. Also, during this pilgrimage, I felt a longing in my heart to give myself more to the Lord. I remember serving mass and thinking to myself that I could maybe serve at God’s altar for the rest of my life. I thought that would be a cool thing to do. After this pilgrimage, I felt my family’s faith life come more alive, and I began to have this sentiment in my heart that I was going to be a priest.
During my grade school years, I was set on becoming a priest and I was overjoyed by that fact. I began to go on retreats put on by the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal called Youth 2000, and I grew more confident in my vocation and in my relationship with the Lord. This continued on up until a couple of events gradually ate away at the surety of my vocation to the priesthood. When I was entering the eighth grade, my sister joined the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal, and so I honestly thought that that meant I did not have a vocation since God would only take one child from a family. Another thing that began to eat away at the surety of my vocation was the fact that I began to fall in with the wrong crowd. I played baseball and basketball, and I began to foster a lifestyle that was slowly losing ground on my faith life and my relationship with Jesus.
As I began high school, I attempted to form a new identity and in forming that new identity, I left behind all my morals and everything that I once held dear. During my sophomore year, when I was about 15, my sister discerned out of her vocation to the CFR sisters, and I was ecstatic at this fact since I now had my sister back, but I continued to backslide in my faith and relationship with Jesus. The crazy thing about this all is the further away I drifted from the Lord, the more I was aware of a notion in my heart that the Lord had a great plan for me: to become a priest for Him. So, all throughout High School, I wrestled with this vocation that I wanted to deny, and I continued to immerse myself in the “in crowd”.
When it came time to choose colleges, my mother gave me the choice of either going to Steubenville or to Ave Maria University. Determined to not follow that nagging feeling, I went to Ave Maria, because I figured it would be a cooler place to go to school being that it was in Florida. As my time went on at Ave Maria, I began to find myself questioning my faith and wondering why I was Catholic and not some other faith. That’s when I began paying more attention in my theology classes and through that, I realized that my faith could be awesome if I let it be. I proceeded to give Jesus a chance by going to Mass every day and stopping in at adoration every once and a while. I noticed a remarkable difference in my life and I just had this inexplicable joy. One day when I stepped into the adoration chapel to pray for a little bit, I was hit with this sensation that the Lord was madly in love with me. I was convinced in my heart that the only way I could return this love was to give myself completely to Him in priesthood, but I convinced myself that this was a little too extreme. During the first semester of my junior year, I had the opportunity to spend a semester abroad in Austria. During that time, I had the opportunity to travel and to take a lot of time to think about my future and pray. So once again, I would ask the Lord in prayer, “What is it that you want from me?” In the stillness of my heart, I would hear the Lord respond back to me, ” You know what I want from you, I want you to become a priest.” So, I spoke back to that voice in my heart and told the Lord that I would give it a shot. In that moment, I felt an inexplicable amount of joy. After completing my semester in Austria, I returned back to school and entered into a priestly discernment program at school. There, different guys who were working toward the priesthood supported me.
Eventually, I completed my undergraduate studies and earned a degree in Economics. After graduating, I visited the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal and during my two-week discernment period, I asked Our Lady to clearly reveal to me her Son’s plan for my life. During the holy hour, actually not too long after I prayed to Our Lady for her intercession, I heard a voice in the quiet of my heart say to me, “This is what I have prepared for you. Will you accept it?” In my heart, I responded back in the affirmative and once again was given this extraordinary grace of extreme joy.
Shortly after that two-week visit, in September of 2008, I entered the Franciscan friars of the Renewal. In March of 2010, I professed my first vows, and I will make final vows in July of 2013. The past three or so years have been the happiest of my life, and I could not imagine doing anything else with my time and effort than bringing souls to Jesus Christ. My current community assignment is the youth program, so I work with kids in the local community here. I can truly say that God has answered my prayers and has granted me the gift of this life.
2012 Grant Recipient