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of my adolescent years, I had forgotten about my childlike dreams of spreading the Gospel across the world and to those in need and became enamored in the telling of stories completely. During the middle-latter years though, I started to take my faith seriously again and gave it more of the time it deserved but I still had forgotten about the desire to be a missionary.

Between the ages of 14-16, my biological father, who had returned to my life, introduced me to a way of life I had never encountered in Protestant circles: living for God alone. Due to certain personal circumstances, my Dad was unable to marry, but he, as a now Baptist minister, was beginning to mine the riches of the life Saint Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 7: and he spoke with me about this. That began to light a fire in my heart though I didn’t commit then to that way of life, later God would seem to continue drawing me that direction. At the age of 15, I felt the Lord had desired me for Himself alone, though I was disobedient to this and entered into a relationship anyways. And, as anyone knows from their own lives and Sacred Scripture, it didn’t end well: I’ve been a bit of a Jonah. At the end of the relationship, I had personally committed to live a life of ministry for Christ alone, as I had concluded that only His love will ever satisfy my soul like He seemed to tell me before.

At the age of 17 I began to become more serious in my studies of systematic theology and I fell firmly in the camp of a somewhat liturgical, Calvinistic, Reformed Baptist. Around the same time, I began to have a crisis about what I was going to do with my life. I’d never really considered it so deeply until that time. Seeking the Lord in prayer, I received several signs that I was to join a missionary program at the local Southern Baptist seminary. This culminated in an unfolding of my whole life before my eyes so as to glimpse at Divine Providence as I read the words of John 4:35: “Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest.” The Lord reminded me of my lost childhood dream of being a missionary, times in my childhood of evangelizing on the playground, my love to listen and pour into the lives of my theater friends who felt the weight of the world crushing their Christian faith; He showed me why He put people in my life like my friend’s dad, Scott Brawner, who himself contributed and contributes to Christian missions all over the world. He did this all in an instant as I read this verse, overwhelming me completely with a grandiose sense of His providential hand in my life.

It was at Baptist Seminary where I met my friend, Jeremiah Zimmerman, who converted at the same time as I and was instrumental in my accepting the doctrine of Papal Supremacy. I still remember the exciting moments of sneaking out early to see my first TLM and trying to make First Saturdays with Jeremiah (which I didn’t fully understand then), going out to the campus’ forest to pray the Rosary, and hiding my Catholic memorabilia in a boring old shoebox in my dorm closet (I shared the dorm with my missions team).

After dropping out of my first year of Baptist Seminary, while in OCIA, I began praying to God for further direction for my life. It felt like I was essentially starting at square one again. One day, bringing my prayers to Our Lord in Adoration at the Curé of Ars Parish, I asked the Lord for 5 things. One of them was that I was sure He had called me to missions but who was I to do them with? Where was I to go? There are so many Orders. I asked the Lord to give me further direction and, literally as soon as I finished all my supplications, a woman who had just come from a mission trip with the Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity entered the Adoration Chapel. This information about her mission to Belize was brought up somehow while discussing the etiquette of the Adoration Chapel.

Then, at Christmas dinner, I asked my Sponsor if he knew anything about SOLT. I found out that the family was a SOLT missionary family and he himself did SOLT missions when he was younger.

So, I scheduled a Come and See with the Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity, prepared already to look for what was likely a confirming sign that they must send their first year guys to Belize (I didn’t know this for a fact at the time). This sign of course would be confirmed. This to say nothing of the fact that I loved the spirituality! The Brothers and Fathers and I immediately built bonds to the point the Brothers wanted me to write down my email so as to stay in touch. And, one of the priests formerly at Curé of Ars Parish, whom I loved to confess to, turned out to be the priest who changed the life of my possible future Spiritual Director and Confessor. I then took the final step to begin the application process and I have officially been approved.

All along the way I’ve had many desolations of my unworthiness and unholiness to even discern such a high calling. And I continually asked God for confirming signs that I am truly doing what He wills and He has almost always answered these prayers.