desire for God
Follow Fr. Matthias’ vocation story and the necessity for the Fund for Vocations:
I’ve always had a desire for God, but never knew how to express it until I rediscovered my Catholic faith in college. Growing up, I became heavily involved in music and played lead electric guitar in various bands. This led me to a music school in St. Paul, MN after High School but I left after one semester
because of the morally unhealthy trajectory which this could place me on in life. I then went to Clarion University of Pennsylvania with an undeclared major. I gained a lot of life experience during this time in college, and also began developing my prayer life in earnest. After discovering Franciscan University of Steubenville, the attractiveness of the school led me to transfer schools again, but this time from the context of prayer and discerning God’s will.
After being accepted and moving to Steubenville, I loved the Catholic environment of the campus: the opportunity for daily Mass as well as being on a campus which was supportive of living out the Catholic faith. It was here that I grew in my knowledge and understanding of Catholicism and of myself.
After much discernment I decided to enter the seminary after graduating from Franciscan University. I decided to stay with the diocese of Steubenville because I was not practicing my faith very well in my home diocese and really discovered the Lord in Steubenville and developed connections with this diocese which I didn’t have in Erie.
After being accepted into the seminary, the diocese sent me to the Pontifical College Josephinum in Columbus, OH. My six years at the seminary were some of the best years of my life. I was able to grow intellectually and as person within the context of a community of brothers who were very supportive of one another, while fully engaging in community prayer and liturgy. All of this was a great blessing to me and strengthened my conviction that God was calling me to be a priest. I was then ordained a priest on May 20th 2016 in Steubenville, OH and then assigned to the Cathedral parish in the city of Steubenville. Although this new life as an ordained priest brought many blessings and was very rewarding, I always felt that something was missing of what I had in the seminary.
At the Josephinum my life was structured around common prayer with the seminary community, common meals for fraternity and support, as well as many other blessings which came from life in community. Diocesan priesthood, I soon discovered, is mainly lived out on your own. This brought many challenges which I found very hard to adapt to, and which prevented me from living out my priestly ministry to be best of my ability.
Around 2019 some very faithful parishioners at the Cathedral parish gave me a random gift of all the Norbertine chant CD’s (they knew I loved Gregorian chant), which I thanked them for, but never really listened much to them (as I didn’t really know who the Norbertines in California were).
However, after a very prayerful retreat at the Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament in Alabama, I curiously listened to these CD’s and was struck by the beauty of their ancient chant. Becoming very interested in who was singing these chants, I did a little research and, for the first time, discovered the Norbertine Fathers of St. Michael’s Abbey in California. From that moment on, I could not stop thinking about the Norbertines – the beauty of their way of life, their liturgical life, and their beautiful blend of active priestly ministry with the contemplative life rooted in a community.
My thoughts about the Norbertines then became a distraction to my current ministry, so I decided to visit them for a retreat. I had discerned religious life before this, and once visiting the community it usually becomes very clear that I’m not called to it. So, I figured actually visiting the community would stop my constant thoughts about the Norbertines. I visited in January 2020 and was amazed with everything about St. Michael’s Abbey. I had the opportunity to speak with Frs. Ambrose and Hugh, and even had the opportunity to meet with the Abbot.
I then began to look more intently into living out the priesthood from the context of religious life. After receiving permission from my bishop, I then went on a period of discernment with the Norbertines. I had two separate visits with them, and then was assigned for a year (still as a diocesan priest) to one of their parishes to get a feel of how it is different from a diocesan parish.
After this very fruitful discernment in the postulancy I then entered the novitiate in 2022 and was vested with the white habit and received the name “Matthias”. I spent around two years as a novice at St. Michael’s and then made simple vows on June 6th 2024 – a 3 year commitment.
These past years I have mainly been focused on who I am as a Catholic priest, and what environment enables me to live out this vocation to the best of my abilities. I am currently a parochial vicar at St. John the Baptist in Costa Mesa, a Norbertine parish, and I live with five other Norbertine priests. We pray the liturgy of the hours together, have common meals and recreation and often go back to St. Michael’s Abbey. This is a radically different way to live out the priesthood, and I have found that it is much more sustainable, and that I am able to be much more generous, finding a healthier balance between active ministry and the contemplative life. I am still in discernment until solemn vows, but it is very clear that I have grown tremendously with the Norbertines and have found a peaceful stability again which I was blessed to experience in the seminary.
Yet, after discerning that this could be the best path for me and my vocation, I am held back by the concern of student debt. As a diocesan priest, the diocese was helping with student loans, and from my own salary I could make contributions. All of this ceased when I discerned religious life: the diocese no longer made monthly payments for my debt, and I no longer had a salary from which I could make contributions. This is the current situation that I am in, and why I am reaching out to the Fund for Vocations.
During my novitiate, I went to the Vita Consecrata Institute at Christendom College under the leadership of Fr. Thomas Nelson. While in Virginia I heard a very good speech regarding the Fund for Vocations, and this is what sparked my interest in reaching out to you. I cannot think of any other way to pay off my student debt and this presents a major concern with me moving forward. Given this context, any financial assistance regarding my student debt would tremendously help the Norbertines in their mission and individual ministries.
